A Reflection on Rage, Grief, and the Stories We Refuse to Understand
By Krystena LuCastro · Originally published on Medium May 12, 2025
Inspired by Rodney Hinton Jr.
We love a good story.
We love the hero who avenges the death of their child, who rises from despair, fueled by pain, to right the wrongs of the world.
In fiction, we understand rage. We give it space. We wrap it in slow motion, swelling music, backstory, and lighting that flatters the brokenness.
We forgive the violence. We even cheer for it — because we see the why.
But when it’s real — when the father’s child is gone, when the heartbreak is raw, when the despair is unfiltered and not edited for streaming —
We look away. We criminalize the crack in his voice.
We call his grief instability.
We call his heartbreak madness.
We ask, “What’s wrong with him?”
Instead of asking, “What happened to him?”
Instead of sitting with the unbearable truth: that sometimes love can shatter a person when it’s ripped away.
Rodney Hinton Jr. was not a headline.
He was a man who broke because his whole world broke first.
We make room for fictional grief because it can’t touch us.
But we must start making room for real grief — grief that doesn’t follow scripts, that doesn’t look noble or neat.
Grief that bleeds. That screams. That blinds. That, yes, can look like rage.
We owe it to him.
We owe it to every real person who ever shattered under the weight of loss and wasn’t granted the humanity we so freely give to fictional characters.
Now What?
Solutions + Actions for a Society That Claims to Care
Learn Before You Judge: Pause before assigning labels like “unstable” or “angry.” Ask: What pain is this person carrying?
Center Lived Experience: If someone is grieving or unraveling, especially from a marginalized background, believe that their story is complex and valid. Don’t reduce them to a moment.
Train Systems to Recognize Trauma: First responders, educators, therapists, and legal professionals need mandatory training in trauma response and grief literacy — especially in how trauma manifests differently by culture and gender.
Decriminalize Grief Reactions: Advocate for judicial and mental health reform that understands how heartbreak and trauma can look like aggression, dissociation, or rage — and treats the root, not just the reaction.
Create Safe Interventions: Fund and support crisis response teams led by Peer Support Specialists who have been there, not just clinicians checking boxes.
Tell the Full Story: If you’re a journalist, storyteller, or content creator: Tell stories like Rodney Hinton Jr.’s with depth, not distortion. Don’t strip away the soul for a clickable headline.
Check Your Own Bias: Ask yourself why you empathize with certain people and not others. If a grieving white mother gets your sympathy — but a grieving Black father gets your suspicion — start there.
Be Brave Enough to Feel With People: True community means making space for the messy, not just the marketable. Be the kind of person who doesn’t turn away from real pain.
Read the published version on Medium · Substack